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ATTENTION!

This is all written for fun and to remind myself the morals of the experiences I had; so that I won't repeat the same mistake everyone life puts me in a similar situation. I apologize in advanced if those who have read this may be offended. However, I'd like to remind others that none were intended; this is just a piece of writing I wrote freely from a mind of a young girl.

What made me write? Why should we write?

You're probably wondering why I made the title in a question form. Honestly, I wrote it in that way because I was confused myself and I thought it would be a good idea giving you lot some reasons on why we should write and that writing is important.


First of, I was never that great as a writer or blogger since I don't do it so often. I often do things when I am caught up in that mood and in that moment; and so I have to do it before I lose the effort and interest to do that certain thing.

Secondly, it's a way of expressing myself. Ever since I was small, my whole family believes that I am always so confident and I am able to interact or communicate with people of all ages very well. It's a natural talent that I have considered and finally content as one. However, only recently, I started to tumble and struggle to find my own words to describe the emotions I would love to express; to let go of the pressure, and yes, these emotions I often have are either stressful or pressurising. Therefore, I started finding my own ways and opening up new paths to something called writing! I am able to take all of my time, as much as I can, to plot out the words to spread the emotions like jam on bread in a positive way to motivate readers or myself.

Last but not least, to share information, experiences, knowledge and sympathy towards people of the Internet or the society. I have this habit of sharing that I believe I have inherited from my dad. He's always been so generous and kind-hearted towards people. He can love others that may never return the same feelings in the same way; so sincere and pure. I want to be like him a lot. As much as I love both of my parents but there is just some things that I can't describe about dad, he's the only man that makes me feel like that life has so much to explore and keeps me motivated.

I've seen great book authors that goes from zero to hero such as JK Rowling, John Green and Stephani Meyer etc. However, I never thought I'd have the ability to go that far because I am so insecure about all the little things about myself.

Those who think like so pessimisticly may never accomplish the bigger achievements due to their narrow-minded ways of thinking. We should think out of the box, that's what my English teacher would say when it comes to anything. As much as we should be creative when it comes to writing, we should be dreaming big for our future. Unfortunately, this is how I am like. I am able to motivate others to not be like me, so pessimistic with my own idea of being a succesful writer like those I have mentioned above me. Besides, my parents never allowed me to pursue my dreams of becoming a writer. It is true that most writers are not paid as well as other jobs available out there but that doesn't mean there's no chance of writers being successful and turns out to be as rich and popular as Mrs Rowling, am I right or am I right? But that's that. Enough of all that, what I'm trying to say is, the fact that I think I am uncapable of what the succesful authours can do, I should stick with what I do best; writing my rants and emotions out.
Seriously though, writing my emotions has seriously helped me become a person who's a lot more quiet and observant than loud and noisy like I used to be. It slowly helped me become a mature person or maybe it's just that lately, I started noticing how much I have changed in the past 2 years living here, alone in a dorm room with my sister, in Indonesia. We stick together but we're different in so many ways, whether it's our experiences and things we've been through. Sometimes even talking it out about it, doesn't help me figure out my conclusion as much as writing does.
Weird, isn't it? I trust my emotions through words more than getting a respond or an advice from my sister. It's like I'm indirectly figuring things out by myself and letting myself know what the conclusion is as I let all the words flow in this writing.

There's so much things I want to say about writing, to be able to write, to be written down. Most people believe that numbers or art is a lot more accurate when it comes to expressing one's feeling. However, that's they're opinion and fully respect it. Although in my opinion, nothing seems to be more explicit yet appropriate in some ways, when it comes to writing feelings. That's why I probably prefer love letters over beautiful paintings on canvas that expresses a certain emotion, or essays over a speech, and many more things that are relevant to writing.

I feel like, through words, we can always trace back to how we feel about something; a lot like the history of ourselves. Through reading it, we can track down how much we have learn or understand the meaning of all the feelings we felt or mistakes we have made previously. I have read this 'live journal' of mine many times, from the very first one to the latest that I've written. I seriously went through a whole lot of kaleidoscopic feelings towards my daily experiences and such. But I never regret that I wrote all that to the public. I've always thought that there's nothing to hide in this world because the more you pile it up and bottle it up, the more it will be over filled like the lava that eventually explodes on a volcanic mountain. Emotions are not something easy to hide from, for me, so I think it's best I let it all out because once I do, it helps me relieve stress. That's also one of the reasons why I write, it helps me think positively and find my own motivations to move on from that feeling. I know it's never a good thing to be so open towards the public but I think that writing all this helps me then why not? Maybe I just want to know if someone out there is probably feeling the same way then this would help them. At least if I couldn't conclude the emotions or problems I'm facing with, I can advise those out there feeling the same way.

And to those who do feel that way, it's okay to be burden inside without knowing the specific reason why, just let it all out. Even if you don't have the best grammatical English or extended vocabularies (I have the same issue), it's fine. Once you feel it, the words will flow. At least the pressure will decrease inside.

I think I'm out of words to say, besides my sister is home (I started having holidays since two days ago!) and I'll probably do some other stuff soon.

Toodles! :)










EXO got me like:



Dazzling December

"..A beautiful sight, we're happy tonight... walking in the Winter Wonderland," the song echoed through my head out of nowhere as soon as I saw today's date during the Physics exam for the first semester.

Yes, I've noticed. Time flies by so fast, as always.


Anyways, this is the 1st of December, 2014. I have exactly a month left to end this year with the past 365 blissful days. I am still quite busy at the moment, if I weren't to have an English exam tomorrow ----trust me, I wouldn't be able to write anything to catch up on my LiveJournal! I didn't realise that I would get so much busier as the years goes by; I remember thinking I want to grow up as soon as possible so that I could use up all my free time to play, eat and sleep. I guess I was too naive to even understand what the real ambitions and how to keep a firm and secure character that you have structured in you.

I will continue to list down some of the epic events or things that has happened to me this year. I might go back to Doha for the winter break holiday. I have a lot to mention! For e.g: my sister and I recently moved to a dormitory and we have some of the most unique dormmates or neighbours. I was so happy that I can finally get along with some of these people; unlike how I deal with 'friends' or more like, just classmates, for the whole day.

I might meet up with Velia and Nada-saeng this upcoming week. With Kak Nora and Melda too. Oh man, my sister and I need to visit grandma at my aunt's house too! I got a debating competition I might join and discuss further details with Cindy, my senior who might go next year (and she really wants and need a partner for this debate so what can you say?) Besides, I am quite experienced so at the very least, I know some basic rules and how to manage my time, when to emphasize my words as I explain my arguements and etc. Debating is actually a lot more fun than I thought it would be. Especially when the opposing team starts to get scared when they hear that you have a pretty good English accent. lol

Good night for now, readers.

Will update more once I'm done with the exams :-)
Sweet dreams xoxo











EXO got me like:



럼메이트 / Roommate

This show is seriously entertaining me and I have noticed and learn so much more about dealing with dormmates and how tomshow affection to one another. The whole process is slow, but worth it. I love how Chanyeol is showing his true side and looks very natural during conversations with his roommates. Even though it isn't for long, I feel like he's such a generous gentleman whonhas a big heart and is willing to open it up to anyone in need of care, love or attention. :)
I love that somehow, I may not know Chanyeol personally but I believe and I can see he's such a down to Earth lad. Chanyeol deserves all of it. Being a part of EXO, getting into a big music company, and many more achievements he has accomplished.

Chanyeol-ah, I knkw you'd probably never see this or the chance of this to happen is one in a million but I just want to let everyone know about how you have inspired me. Sometimes your actions makes me feel like you're a big brother, a father and mostly, a manly man. Ahahahaha :-)

I hope that I can be just like him when I grow up, to always smile and show that I am happy with whatever struggle and obstacles I am going to face or facing with. Maybe in the mean time, I am still a bit unstable and emotional ----I'll try.

I have failed so many times to impress and make my parents feel proud that sometimes, I am just another useless daughter who's obsess with the hottest trendy boy group and does nothing but go fangirl about them online.

Mom, dad, I am truly sorry and I apologise for this bad mannered daughter of yours. All these times, I have never paid attention to actually take in all your warnings and life moral lessons into my heart and observe it well to help me become a better person as I grow older. I'm sorry I'm causing the tiredness in your eyes that shows hoew much you try to help me but many times, I failed myself again. Sometimes I cry so much that I ran iut of reasons to cry for. It is useless and yet here I am doing nothing but flowing out all my emotions on a freaking online journal. Aish...

I really am your one and only weird yet unique and abnormal daughter.

As you can clearly see, this is pretty much how my head flows from nothing to something big, serious and emotional.  ㅠㅠ I'm constantly thinking but there's no progress.
Not a while ago, I talked to my Mom and said I'm about to sleep late but she insists that I sleep now so that I can wake up early and learn.
I want to make a new target and make a change this year.
Mom, Dad, please look forward to it. I will do my best.

하나 화이팅!!!! ><;9 히아ㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏ~

[ 141209 - 12:54AM ]











EXO got me like:



Dazzling December

"..A beautiful sight, we're happy tonight... walking in the Winter Wonderland," the song echoed through my head out of nowhere as soon as I saw today's date during the Physics exam for the first semester.

Yes, I've noticed. Time flies by so fast, as always.


Anyways, this is the 1st of December, 2014. I have exactly a month left to end this year with the past 365 blissful days. I am still quite busy at the moment, if I weren't to have an English exam tomorrow ----trust me, I wouldn't be able to write anything to catch up on my LiveJournal! I didn't realise that I would get so much busier as the years goes by; I remember thinking I want to grow up as soon as possible so that I could use up all my free time to play, eat and sleep. I guess I was too naive to even understand what the real ambitions and how to keep a firm and secure character that you have structured in you.

I will continue to list down some of the epic events or things that has happened to me this year. I might go back to Doha for the winter break holiday. I have a lot to mention! For e.g: my sister and I recently moved to a dormitory and we have some of the most unique dormmates or neighbours. I was so happy that I can finally get along with some of these people; unlike how I deal with 'friends' or more like, just classmates, for the whole day.

I might meet up with Velia and Nada-saeng this upcoming week. With Kak Nora and Melda too. Oh man, my sister and I need to visit grandma at my aunt's house too! I got a debating competition I might join and discuss further details with Cindy, my senior who might go next year (and she really wants and need a partner for this debate so what can you say?) Besides, I am quite experienced so at the very least, I know some basic rules and how to manage my time, when to emphasize my words as I explain my arguements and etc. Debating is actually a lot more fun than I thought it would be. Especially when the opposing team starts to get scared when they hear that you have a pretty good English accent. lol

Good night for now, readers.

Will update more once I'm done with the exams :-)
Sweet dreams xoxo











EXO got me like:



Margin 3

Hey guys!

I know it has been such a long time since I decided to plot down my daily activities and such but let me tell you, 2014 has gotten even more 'adventurous' for me compared to the previous year. Last time I posted was asking you to wish me luck for my Chemistry exam and well, turns out I got the score I expected; 30.

"Why didn't you study for the test, Hana?" sir Marpaung asked me with a soft voice, barely a whisper or threatening and audible enough for me to hear. I stared at the score at the right top of the page written in red with a simple 30+ that was circled around it. I simply nod in disastifaction and barely respond to his question and quickly take my seat in silent. I plop down on the wooden bench as I sigh out in disbelief of what I have done with my own report card for the second round in this semester.

Anyways, forget Chemistry because right now, recently I've been busying myself with some silly English Competition that I attended at my cousin's school. First of all, I did not join because I wanted to go there for fun but actually aimed a target to get new experiences. Lately and most of the time I spent in Indonesia is either school, Mandarin tuition or basketball after school. And it continues to go on and on instantly. One of these days I must say, it is starting to sicken me and I wanted to try out something new. I only wanted to join it because I knew that my cousin had offered me an invitation to be in her group for the Debating team. So I accepted her offer and I was nervous because I have never ever had debating experience before (I might have joined a little club afterschool, back when I was in year 8. However, it turned out that I didn't really fancy the teacher's assistant that helped us with the debating and such and so I called 'a quit'!)










EXO got me like:



-C for Chemistry?

The possibility of me getting a good score for this month's Chemistry test is very low.
I hope I won't fail History tomorrow, I have to get 80 at the very least.

Wish me luck, silent readers!

Love,

Hana











EXO got me like:



This and that is life

Chemistry test tomorrow.
i don't know how well or terribly bad I will do for tomorrow.
it's either I make it or break it.
Wish me a very good iuck?

Good night & sweet dreams, people of our home Earth. God bless!











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Bits of my memoirs

You wouldn't believe that I have been trying to get back on this blog for a while now. I even decided to make blogspot on Google but never really continued writing because I got so frustrated at how I have forgotten what my password was for this account, on my livejournal. I didn't want to leave it like that, so I decided to keep on trying, come back and log in to this website. It's been months, and it ended up as a year. I hope you all have been patient enough to hear more news coming from my not-so-extraordinary life.


So let's take a recap on what I did during my year of misery:

1. I did mention about going back to my country
2. I had a bit of a rant here about my previous 'small' and immature crushes on those weird-looking guys (now they are, to me) that used to be my classmates
3. I have finally graduated year 10 and moving on the next level
4. I take IPA (Ilmu Pengetahuan Alam) which is literally translated "Knowlegde of Sciences"
5. I have a Physics test exam this Saturday.

I will keep on updating tomorrow but right now, all I wanna do is sleep. I have never felt so tired in my entire life.

High school senior year 2 isn't how chilled I expected it to be.

Ciao, toodles!










EXO got me like:



◇Monday Morning◇

Monday Mornin' rain is fallin~ I sing to myself in my head. It was such a gloomy morning and I can still taste the bittersweet flavour of my coffee milk at the tip of my tongue. Yuck.

When I headed downstairs in a rush, I noticed kak Nora (my grandpa's nurse) wasn't sleeping in the living room with grandma. I got ready and put on my clothes, etc. The usual school days early morn', same old boring thing again and again.

Anyways, now that I've mention school, I did say I have a crush on this guy at school right?
Anyone figured out his name? Mhmm? Anyone at all?! Okay, seems like my silent readers are such shy ones. ;)
He's name is 5/6 of the first letters in my name + nes = YOHANes

Yeah, Yohanes.
This guy, I don't know. It's something about his character. He's a bit different compared to the boys in class who are a bunch of assholes except for a few. (NOT MENTIONING NAMES BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO CAUSE ANY ISSUES IN MY PRIVATE LIFE)
Am not sure of I am inspired by his effort to study and ask questions in class or I have a slight interest in nerdy boys with no good looks but quite tall right now.
I'm quite confused here, so..an advice from an expert would be helpful. (PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT OR SOMETHINF, I REALLY NEED HELP)
None of my friends know abiut this blog, only a few. I don't even think they are into it. My writings are dull, lol. I need an expansion of vocabularies here. ;___; Better start eating words from the Dictionary for breakfast, haha.

Furthermore, he doesn't hesitate here and there, all over the place like some bipolar bitch like them assholes. I like guys like that, striaghtforward and go for their ambitions. :) Vina, my good friend, told me his father passed away. So I was a bit sad to hear that. I mean, I would be in painevery time I see a kid with their Dad. He had a few crushes on my classmates, and I noticed they are the quite and elegant looking ones; Kath and Karen. Do you think he'd like a girl like me? I mean am fat, not that pretty, kinda cute but that's because of my chubby cheeks, double-chin and "necklace" (that's a pun Sara made for me; since you can't see it)

I mean I lose hope after what happened with Hegar. But thankfully, I'm so over him and deeply into Yohanes. I wanna slowly, step by step, get to know him further more. I learnt from my mistakes with Hegar. I don't want to tell him too early. I mean my friendship is a bit unstable with him now. So even if I had to keep it for 3 years of high school. I would. Although if we ever get closer, I think I should slowly show him I'm giving him clues indirectly that I like him. I know, what an overrated plan. However, my plan for the past 7 years was a huge failure. I mean look what happened to me! Thrown away, here and there. My heart breaks easily and falls in love so easily. So this time Imma just keep it to myself for the best.

2 days ago, in class, we had Maths and every time someone comes up to the whiteboard to write answers and working out for each equations, they had to write their names. So then Yohanes did, when the teacher wanted to write his name on the top, left corner of the board (so it wouldn't get erase; he gives extra points to kids that comes up to show answers) and the rest of the mates names that also answered questions. Instead of writing "Yohanes", he shorten it to "Yoh". Coincidentally, he doesn't know that there are two YOHs in the class; Yohanes and me, Yohana. So then Yohanes said to teacher,

"SIR, there are two Yohs in the class, I'm Yohanes and there's Yohana." He said, as I stare at him, he looks towards me and smile/giggles a little.
I have no idea why, but my heart skipped a beat and damn, I didn't know love can do such a powerful thing to one's body and mind. I got goosebumps when he looked at me that way. I looked back to the front where the teacher was looking at him with confusion,

"What do you mean? Sorry, I can't hear you properly BECAUSE THE WHOLE CLASS ARE HAVING TEN THOUSAND DIFFEREMT CONVERSATIONS!" and everyone shuts their mouth, some still whispering and gossiping about.

Then Sara butt in, yes. Butt in.

"SIR, he said not to get confuse with his name and Yohana's, so better you write Yohanes so you know who got the points."

"Wow,seems like Sara, your friend, Yohanes, seems very concerned about you." the whole class started cheering up for the two of them. Then the girls started singing this overrated Indonesian love song you can hear everywhere you go. Honestly, I have never felt so annoyed in my life because

1.Had my great moment with him and does she feel the NEED to ruin it?! Did she do it on purpose?
2.I don't like Sara, she ignores me when I needed help. However, when she asks for help, I do help her. What a cunt, right?
3.He din't say anything about it! He seems fine with it.

Today I also didn't eat breakfast nor had lunch in school, so I ended up nearly vomiting 5 minutes before the History exam which is the last lesson. Thankfully, the Lord heard my prayers and answered it. :') I answered all the questions without having any difficulties or a struggle to find the perfect words.
So before the exam started, I felt a huge headache and headed for the toilet.

Since he sits in the right corner, on the second column, he was one of the closest to the door. As I walk pass by, I heard him say

"Dia lagi pusing kok ke kamar mandi?"

I didn't even understand what he meant by that, but as long as I know he decided to pay a little attention. Even if it was such a little thing to be happy aboutm but it gives me hope at the least. He may not like girls like me, let it be! As long as he appreciates me for who I am, I don't know how the hell will I ever get over him though.


Since I don't know what comes next, we'll see and hope that he'll say yes to me. ;) December should do. I'll give him the love key chain before I leave for Qatar :) hopefully he accepts it, kyaaa~♡

Alright now, it's been Yohana. Out and about once again and all over again, ciao~ ^^

Tags:











EXO got me like:



H or Y?

I hate love.
It's so confusing yet beautiful and mesmerizing.
Am pretty sure everyone in life had their time where they desperately wanted a boyfriend or girlfriend, right?
Especially at puberty, when hormone's high, you fall for anyone easily. You think it is 'love', afterwards your mood and feelings constantly changes, you totally forget about him or her and end up liking a new one again. The cycle goes on and on in a circle, same old game. Endless game.

So when I arrived at May to Indonesia, my good friend Hegar was kind enough to keep me accompanied everyday with the little conversations we had; I felt so lonely because for 2 weeks I didn't have friends and cried almost every night. Thankfully, my sister and him were always there to comfort me.

At first, he was just a brother to me. Was.
Eventually, feelings of mine towards him bloom like the flowers in spring, slowly I've open up to my feelings and I thought it was time to tell.

So I did.

Once I did, everything changes.
We barely talk, he avoided me for 3 weeks. Now, I have hatred towards him. For ignoring me, hurting me, making me hope for nothing, being too nice to me so I got it the wrong way, being so childish and many more. I know it's wrong because he didn't even know that I would end up like this.

Anyways, our friendship is trashed away and now it's like nothing ever happen, just strangers.
Fuck that annoying cycle between two people in a relationship that didn't work out, as translucent as the blurred out mirror with condensed oxygen against it.

August only came a few days ago and now it's already Sunday the 25th of it. What the hell? Chill out and slow down, Aug. It aint' the right time to move so fast, because on the 18th my mom left, suddenly the 20th came along and Kak Inas left.
When we say farewell to Mom, we didn't take any last picture. Even worse, Kak Sarah and I weren't able to drop Kak Inas off to the train station. It was a pretty sad goodbye; we woke up early in the morning and we had to say bye-bye. I started tearing up while having breakfast. The night before she left, I couldn't focus on my studies and all I ever thought of were the emptiness and loneliness I will felt deep within me.

now what am I supposed to do?

After a little problem with a few classmates of mine, I finally get to settle down and seek for friends who can appreciate me for who I am. Their names are Novelia, Vina, Karina, Saras and Felicia. I don't know why but it doesn't seem like Sara, Jeanny, Graciela or Katherine has any interest in talking to me.
And I found true friends who are there for me; Novelia and Vina. The ones who approached me to go to the nearby market where I find simplicity, people in need, parents selling things to be able to pay debts or school fees for their children. This is what I needed , I thought to myself. I needed to see how people out there are going through worse things, hardship and struggling. I shouldn't have worried so much about not making any friends, not able to adapt or understand the language, etc. These are the little things that were yet made as big issues to me.

Even funnier and surprisingly, I am falling for this guy in my class named 5/6 letters in order out of my name + es ;)

Until next time! I would like to see if anyone can you figure out his name! Cause I have so much to tell about my highschool life silly adventures with the girls! :"D

Can't wait to share it to y'all, night for now.

_it's been Waka-waka, out and about for now. Ciao!_










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Speechless

I don't know if this is the end of my beginning or the starting of an end; speechless and confused. I lost track of everything.

Only 2 months ago I was in my bedroom, listening to the radio/writing in my diary/drawing posters, etc.

I am now currently living in Medan, Indonesia. It's been 3 months exactly now; I moved in since May. I moved into my grandparents house, my grandpa is in bed, half of his body is paralyzed. He can't talk, he can barely move his hand. His body is very bipolar, he constantly get a high fever at the middle of the night.










EXO got me like:



Speechless

The End of a Beginning, The Start of an Ending.

When there's so much to say, you don't even know where to start; that's how I'm feeling right now. Kind of like a writers block, effin' annoying!

Let me re-cap what happen in D-Town.

~(*O*~) A few years ago (~*O*)~

Life is full of its own ups and downs, right? So what happened with my eldest sister is, she applied to 7 or more universities and thankfully passed into most of them; she wanted to master medicals and be a doctor, in general. Unfortunately, in all the universities that accepted her didn't give any scholarship except for one; they gave her a 30% scholarship, which is already a miracle.
(It's a fact that studying medicals takes up the most money more than any other majors for university/college and my parents only found out about this after asking advices from parents who have their child living and studying abroad)
I gotta admit, I wasn't born in a rich family or born in a luxurious life; we're very extraordinary, thankful for whatever we got. (That's how my parents brought me up, thankful for the things we get. Even if it was mistakes; so we'll learn from it and won't do the same in the future, hopefully. If not, try again; never give up. We're brought in a very positive-mind family, haha..and I'm very proud of all this)










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Happy Sunday Trinity

Funny how it is my farewell with friends just exactly after a week of Sara's birthday (my best friend). I spent every last minute with a laugh and just chilling with great friends. Then it came to an end, which is what I never wanted..

Today was my last day to greet friends my farewell and great teachers I've had for the past 3 years. Unfortunately, I couldn't do much cards due to the packing at home was taking more than enough time we wasted, such a shame.

Sara cried at the second break only knowing and found out that I had to go that day.. I felt bad because I didn't feel that bad about leaving. Only until it came to an end at English lesson; last lesson :(

Tears started to flow down my hot cheeks which were now damped with every droplets..

All my friends hugged me, we cried and shared all our memories together and how much we realise that  we grew up so fast! (T_T)
It was afterschool and we headed to Mme Smith room, everyone surprised me with some food and we had some music on to chill and chat about. Unfortunately, I never got a piece of pizza and I din't really care as long as I get to see my friends happy and smile together happily~

A part of my heart says, I can't wait to leave and head for a whole new world. The other says, wait, no. I want to stay.. :(










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Jack Frost' back!

At first, it wasn't that good!

It all began in Geography, Aghnia and I were chatting and then came along a bunch of girls from the table in front of us, the side and so on. Elois Lear (Nickname, keeping her anon because of certain reasons) was drawing JB with Hessa, I did my own version and it was a lot of fun; even Nadira and Sylvia decided to join us in! :)

Then came along someone I know that can be a party pooper and attention-seeker, Sara. She showed off her freaking croissant and shove it on my face or something. I was NOT in the mood for anything that might annoy me since the morning (I even rejected Aghnia's hug)

"Can you please STOP showing OFF if you are not willing to share it? Fuck you, uft" so I told her that. Honestly, it's not a very nice thing to say to a friend in the morning. However, Sara do this too often sometimes.

And I didn't bother to create any bigger problems and 2 lessons pass and she still doesn't want to talk to me. Then it was time for French, Madame Brewer hand it out sheets as we come in.

"Ugh, more revisions" I whine and hesitate in my mind.

"Alright class, it's time for your speaking test next week. So who wants to go for it on Sunday, raise your hands" Mme Brewer looked up across her table to see a few hands up. Honestly, eventually after the silly fight with Sara; my dad didn't turn out that bad because my last day of school is on Sunday!

As soon as I get home, Jonghyun's hair was literally grey white like any grands would have! xD Although he looks amazing and hubba-hubba, I still fall for his 'dazzling looks' ;) ifyaknowhwatImean -nudgenudge-

Anyways, and then that day was their last performance + my parents were being very nice to me; I guess they realise how much of a kind daughter I am, ahahaha :$ (JOKES) I think they just want to spend some quality time with me for the last time since I am leaving.. very soon. :(

You see? The problem is; just one thought of me 'leaving Qatar/friends/home' leads to many deep and.. disappointing-yet-exciting-new-journeys-to-go thoughts. I can't choose between Qatar or Indonesia. It just upsets me that I feel like I leave so many great memories here! However, like my Mom mentioned "this is NOT our home, honey. We have to leave at some point in our lives, besides, you've always wanted to visit the world. Just think of it as a new journey"

And you know what? Maybe she's right. I hope I'll survive. I don't know how my friends would react to this bad news on a Sunday morning that that day will be my last one at school :'(










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Happy birthday, Sara!

Today I was too lazy to do anything, once again.
When I wake up, it was already noon; almost 2pm.

"..Yohanaaaa, wake up! It's already noon, I gotta go and get some more boxes for dad's packaging, alright?!" Mom yelled from across the room and getting ready to go out. It took me a while to notice my surroundings and I had out of my bedroom. I spent a few minutes in the bathroom and got back out finding my mom and hug her before she went. She head out with a smile on her face.
I got on the computer and ended up doing other things which I should have not even started.
When my mom got back home, it was already 4pm; so I was going through the web for 2 hours straight. Just to loosen up my eye muscles, a phone call has awaken me.
My mom called me downstairs to help her with the shopping bags AND boxes. When she got home, she seems really tired and went straigh to sleep on the huge and comfortable sofa. (It's been with us for 4 years now, o wow! Pink and white stripes which is now cream colour because it's decaying? I have no idea, ahaha)

I ended up playing on the computer for hours; I watched The Croods which is a great movie. (Story of how life started with cavemen and etc; how they might have found new things and made discoveries with fire, etc)

It's already 1am, tomorrow is the first day of school. So I better get going.

Cheers for now ;)










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Letters to Juliet

"There's 2 Patricias; one is my cousin and the other is someone I completely forgotten about. As long as there's one Sophia that I love and loves me back!"

The movie has a bit of a plot twist to the actual Romeo & Juliet by Shakespeare. Although this version, (probably according to my generation) is.. better? (Not giving clues what I meant by 'plot twist' or 'better', go watch it yourself because it's really nice) I don't know, maybe that's more likely my opinion.


Just 2 days after the Masquerade masks Party, I got positive and negative feedback from peers on the private group; only my year 9 girls and I can access to it.

"Can you please delete my picture? I look horrible, omg I wanna cry :'(( ahahaha" Am actually quite upset when they asks me to do it because I took the picture and put my very best effort to take pictures to everyone just so that it will be a great memory (I didn't even have time to eat the sweets or little cakes they served; I actually tried one of my favorites but a lot of people ate it already, I guess it's most peoples' favorite too)

"Can you please post it now? Are you done editing it? Don't feel pressurize, I am only asking. Ahahaha.." First of all, she was so desperate but can't she wait for a bit?! Editing and downloading are not as easy as she thought; especially if you are stuck with a crappy Viao and an Acer laptop. If only I bothered to explain; which I failed to do (lol)

What sucks the most is that I don't feel like doing anything this 'long' weekend (from Thursday to Sunday, it's a day off for my school)

Today is a good day for me though, I just went out with my parents and we had some quality time.. :) recently, we started only a few days ago to pack the books we bought since we first came here and realize we bought so much of it that it probably costs around 1000QRs to send to Indonesia (where my grands live; where I'll be living too!)

Anyways, we had our own purpose to go out; it was to see Pakde Yuli who lives in Al-Khor; he just got back from Canada today and he must've been tired because he went home straight away after giving some souvenirs for the three of us! We met this evening because he had to go to Church on this Friday morning.

[If you're wondering why it says 18th May, '13.. I actually wrote this on 3.37am on a Sunday dawn; I stayed up late night with my Dad, my mom's asleep at the moment.. Dad is making me go to bed but I still want to finish off my writing, I might continue when I wake up in the next 8 hours]










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Masquerade Mask Party

It is 12.17am right now as I write this blog and I just got back from a pretty tiring party with my year 9 girls ONLY. I am so tired because of the risks of being a photographer; i had to bring a tripod, camera battery case with charged batteries in it + masks that I made!
It turned out really good and I'm proud of myself!
Unfortunately, a few girls were too shy and didn't like their pictures being taken. So I moved on with them and casually take pictures of everyone else.

My friends were exhausted because they wore almost 12cm and more; after all, we danced all night, had a few conversations and dinner :)
Hopefully, I'll be able to wake up early tomorrow and do some stuff to help my mom.

Out and about,

~Ciao~

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Rocking heart

So today Sara and Aghnia had quite an argue. At Geography, I sat in between Sara (on the left side of the table in rows) and Aghnia (on the right side). Today it felt like a part of us were gone; Alyaa's absence. Sara said it's usually because of stomach ache she gets when it's the TOM*, she wasn't wrong and Aghnia agreed.

"Sir, can we please watch any movies at all that's related to Geography? Please?" Rania shouted out and looking very pleased if he'd do what she asks for. So eventually after all the little persuasion from the whole class, Mr Irving finally agreed to it.
He turns off the light and played the movie for the whole lesson. Every in between pauses or boring parts, the three of us would have little conversations and giggle about.

"Girls, please." Sir Irving yelled across the room. We stayed in silence and not long after that, it was time to go for Maths lessons. Sara, Aghnia and I are in separated classes. I was expecting for a sign of Alyaa around but not yet.

I had so much fun in Art lesson though, because Mr Caddick (art teacher, obviously) danced in a really funny way that I laughed so hard and he looked at me with a mad expression/poker face.

"What's so funny?" he asked in his actual voice but everything he does just cracks me up! Best teacher that always cheers up my Tuesdays! :')

"Owh, it's nothing, sir. I just think you need to get updated with new dance moves that's trendy nowadays..hahahaha" I replied. There was a break of silence, Perrihan and Zeina were giggling a bit. He looked a bit disappointed to be hearing that from me,

"Sir, am just saying. You don't have to take my opinion seriously, I only suggested. It's your choice though!" and still no answer from him. So as a little revenge, a few minutes later, I was chatting quite a lot with Sara and he asked,

"Yohana, tell me, how many pictures have you traced for your mobile art?" asked Mr Caddick, looking curiously as he tilt his head down to look above his pair of glasses and glare straight to me.

"ITwo pictures so far, sir. Feel proud, see?!" I responded and showed him my artwork.

"Am very happy for you then?" very sarcastically he avenged back to me. I giggled a little and got back to my work. However, I lost concentration due to Sara's little cheeky mood; pulling up my skirt every now and then.

"Sara stopped" I whispered with an angry expression that lies on my face as I stare at her with all my strength to point out how serious I am about it. She seemed annoyed and ignored me the whole lesson just because of THAT.

So I let it go and I was a bit annoyed at her, after all it was TOM for me too.
Anyway, in the end Aghnia cried and I thought it was Sara's fault so I asked her if she did something that may have had hurt Aghnia? She got so mad or pissed off just cause of that that she told me,

"Why do you always blame it on me? Ugh" and the day ends.


Well, not exactly. I ended up trying to bond Aghnia and Sara but, they ended up fighting. I have NO idea what to do now. I called Alyaa for advice,

"It's okay! Both of them will calm down, it happens like every other day." Alyaa suggest me.

Well, we'll just have to see it ourselves, ye?

~Ciao~











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Password

Another typical Sunday morning with me yawning and bragging about. Yesterday was quite a long day, I did so many things till it was nearly dawn. I went straight to bed once I got really tired and sleepy.

-9.12pm-

The one above was written at school. I was sitting in an empty library filled with silence. The librarian lady had to go home so she kindly let me know that it will be closed in ten minutes. Ten minutes is definitely not enough for me to write a journal. (It takes time for me to express myself in words. It's probably the most difficult thing for me to do; usually I'd expose my feelings through singing or dancing. Nowadays, I have to improve my English grammar and expand my vocabularies; I write journals. It's the only way)

My mom often gets mad when she sees me on the laptop; it just irritates her badly! She thinks all the kids out there studies and then help their parents with house work. To be honest, in THIS generation, the only reason we're always on the laptop are:


  • It's the only way to communicate, going out and 'meeting/socialising' with people nowadays are REALLY awkward (especially when you're a Twitter/Tumblr addict)

  • Why should we play, wasting energy physically when you can waste it through typing on a keyboard and clicking the mouse every now and then! Hello, you did mention about recycling and eco-friendly aka we're doing it! Not wasting OUR energy for better things in the future

There are more good reasons but I can't think of any right now (honestly).
Why is my tittle password? Well, I just realise that at my school, every time we change the school computer password every 2 weeks, I'd change it depending on my own mood.

For e.g:

When I liked Abdullah, the code was 'potato' and after all, I called him one ;) hahahaha.. (same goes with every other guys I had a crush on [usually with code names or indirect codes]). When I felt like I want to show appreciation to myself, it becomes Yohana. Just me, myself and I. I'ts been a long time since I had alone time for just me.

-30th April '13
I didn't manage to finish off this journal and I totally forgot what happen on Sunday.
I will write a new one now :) I apologize for not being able to finish it off.
I'll try and remember what happened 2 days ago.

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Cry baby

안녕 칭구야~ (^o^ )/

Yoyo here~
So this morning, I got really upset since it's a gloomy day. I always feel sad when the dark clouds shows up, especially early in the morning! (As you can probably guess, I am NOT a morning person. Ahaha)
Siraj accelerates the car speed and we arrive not shortly after that.
[ Sorry for the inconvenience scientific words, I was revising for my upcoming Science test on Speed, Pressure & Moments; turns out I didn't practice at all ]
Usually, I wouldn't enter the main gate but ever since










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